Thinking way to much

One thing about being mentally ill, is that you will a lot more then most, is to over analyze things to the extreme.  Most of the over analyzing is usually negative, everything that can and will go wrong; you'll excessively analyze it.  An I truly mean analyze things to death and beyond.  An the stigma that comes with being mentally ill is even worse, even the ones we oppose on ourselves; when we're first diagnosed; because most people just heard from the mass media.  An the mass media, only report about mass murders and other bad people and hardly ever on the good ones; like the success stories.  But you really don't hear about those to much.  Because there's more success stories then the bad ones; so for the ones getting help and trying to make the their lives better; as well as others..... keep your chin up... 

Sideways

Sometimes we have these big plans, like first I was trying to get to Georgia, didn't happen, then I was going to California; that didn't happen either.  But it's been my experience; that yes some things are just meant to be.  An there's really no explanation or reason on why; like the title state's; things just hit you side ways.  But it's alright to have big plans; just make sure it's realistic. 

Running to and from

I really don't say much on faith, but I'd like to speak on this a little.  But in this great nation, you're able to worship whatever you want or nothing at all.  But speaking for myself, I'm a follower of Jesus Christ; but seems to me; that a lot of so called Christians.  That a majority of them are running from him, when we need running to him!  Because remember, if you follow the teachings of Christ; an follow the bible; he died for our sins.  Just something to consider; only my two cents. 

Mental rent

I've been told, if you keep negative people in your life; charge them mental rent.  That means to keep putting up with their negativity, make them pay you; since they usually don't part with their money; it's a safe bet they'll leave quickly!  An that's part of the reason my circle of friends and loved ones; is incredibly small.  Because not surprising; I'm not liked or loved by many; but at least they are genuine friends and loved ones.  An something else I've got a lot of people that are like that, because I'd rather have it straight up; then sugar coating it and beating around the bush.  Anyway I'm not ranting or anything just putting that out there; a little food for thought...

Money would be nice

You know what would be nice, if a million dollars would just mysterious appear; I could think of a lot of things I'd like to spend it on.  The first place I'd like to go is at Sam's club and stock up on a lot of things.  But first thing I'd need to go get my identification of some kind; an I'd like to get my drivers license back.  An all I'd need to do is retest and be back on the road providing I could get a car.  But nice thought, it doesn't hurt to dream; but what matters is making sure reality and dream land don't blend together to much.  Because it'd be nice to get those things like a flat screen 4k television; or anything.  But we all can get those things, but if you work hard and keep at it; because things can happen; it will take some time and all that, but it will happen

Real love...

Real love, is really heart warming thing; a lot of ways.  One of the best things in my opinion on love, is you share a connection on so many things; like for example your fears.  An as well as your hopes and dreams, real love someone is giving you; will build you uo; not tear you down.  But there will be times where you will fuss and argue, but with real love; that love doesn't just go away or die out.  But it's also a sad fact, that some people have a alternative motives for saying they love you, but they don't know what real love is; real love is standing by that person, when thing's are at their worst and you're not the normally lovable person you normally are.  But I've got hope that one day we'll all understand true love...

I've noticed

When I first started this blog, thing's were so scattered for me and my life was going in so many directions, an a majority of them I wasn't to keen on.  But these days, it's a much different story; my life has gotten more stable!  Now I'm on the right kind of psych medication and I'm actually interested in becoming a peer support specialist, plus my future has improved greatly.  What brought me to this is older posts I had posted on this very blog on mine!  Another thing I'm trying to do is being a more productive citizen and just all around better person.  When I first went back to them, at first they made me sad and ashamed about what was still so wrong in my life.  Apparently I still was somewhat dulsional in some respects, this grandiose visions of thing's would just happen and I'm a nice guy; an things would fall right in my lap right this second.  Well apparently I needed to stay in a psych hospital then I thought and I was fooling myself and others.  An something else, we tend be hardest on ourselves; then anybody else.  But I've gotten a lot smarter and wiser since a few years ago.  An in hopes I keep on that same path, keep your stick on the ice...

Wishing for work....

Well as I lay here, I keep thinking I wish I had for more paying gigs.  There's a few things I'd like doing, something I'd like to do is cook.  But that and IT jobs I'd rather being because I love to cook and computers.  Something I'd like to cook is a nice Sunday supper.  But we don't always get what we want; nice thought though.  There's a lot of thing's I'd like to cook, one thing I'd like to make is a steaks, mashed taters and gravy; an last but not least a nice dessert.  Because being mentally ill; some find it heard to find a coping skill we can do and enjoy. 

Another random thought part 1

Something else that not many people know about me is I've a huge interest in space from physics, to astronomy and a lot more when it comes to the natural world and space.  An something I'd like to get if I had spare cash to burn; would be a telescope and a nice one at.  But there's a lot of thing's I'd like to buy. But thing that sparked my interest in that was when I was much younger was going to the air and space museum; as well as other museums.  An I've always loved through the worm hole and the like.  But we make the mistake that we've discovered everything on earth, an I say no we haven't to that!  But on the same token we need to get our kids interested in science, not just in math and English; as well as world history, not just American history.  But like I said just a random thought for tonight! 

My mri and bone scan

Well as I'm sitting here waiting to get my mri and bone scan done.  Reminds me why I stay away from hospitals; I'm also tired of hurting too.  But gotta do what I gotta do to make the pain to go away. 

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Once again we're watching a classic; The Rocky Horror Picture show.  Which is one of the few gems that survived this.  It's up there with a few of the monty python movies and dune. I also like a lot of older movies, like a lot of Alfred Hitchcock movies. An Abbott and Costello, three stooges and the Marx brothers; to name a few.  An old tv too, because a majority of it you can sit and watch with your kids.  Like for example the Andy Griffin show; which had good messages and morals. Which is why I want to build a home theater and set it up like a little movie theater.  But I don't see that happening anytime soon, unless I wake up an a million dollars are suddenly in my PayPal account; which I don't see that happening anytime soon either lol cheers folks and keep the true cinematic gems alive. 

More often then not

As I lay here I can't help but think, that some people get their undies in a wad over the least little thing!  An used to why why?, well it's more apparent as I get older; that some people have no lives and are miserable and want to make other's just like them!  But on the same token, these people aren't worth my time and are are worthless, who aren't worthy of anything.  An for example, their world revolves around with the kardasins are doing or real somebody from some place!  While there's people trying to make the world a better place, while the ass clowns if this back water planet are trying to prevent that from happening.  Because you've got to be taught to obey, do what you're told without question.  But I do often ask, why is this?  Because I learned in school, we've got freedom of speech and constitution; last but not least a bill of rights.  Our freedom is being systematically took from us.  An nobody is caring in the slightest, while the small group of us; that are capable of forming thought and have got the brass to speak out for these freedoms.  But in short our freedoms are more important then others feelings. 

Long time no see

Well it's been a long time since I've posted to this, so sorry folks on that one.  I've created another blog all about technology; to separate this one and other one.  But I wanted to focus this one about the goings on in my life and other passions, other then technology.  An I've been doing good, another passion I've been doing is cooking before I got into IT and music full time I was actually studying to be a chef!  So I'm getting back into that, which is such a great therapy for me.  But something that applies is I'm also mentally ill; I've got PTSD!  Which I'm doing better these days, but wasn't always the case.  Which I'm going to be discussing that at a later time.  Because I want to drawl attention to the stigma; because there's such a big stigma attached to being mentally ill.  Till later peace and chicken grease lol...