So much

I don't normally post more then one day but today is different, I keep thinking about how things are going it's very disappointing, but at least I can see my enemies coming better here; then wise county and granted it's not as extreme here, but still disappointing none the less.  I can understand the ones causing all this shit coming after me, but my girlfriend and other people, that can't defend themselves.  That's just flat out bullshit wrong, no matter how you cut it up and yet they wonder why I go off sometimes?!?!  I'm ready to just kick the door in, take her home, have her pack her things and tell them to kiss my fat ass!  But what I don't understand is why mess with people that have a hard enough time defending themselves?  I mean haven't they got lives or hell anything better to do?  I just find all this aggravating and depressing all at the same time, this is driving me to go to the hospital again.   I'm not breaking or anything just I don't want to do anything I'll regret later.  Stepping stone aka clubhouse a few of the consumers I can understand on why and how they at, but not a few of the staff, I find that the most hurtful.  I know I need to do something, but how do I do it without losing my temper again?  Any and all suggestions will be appreciated, but several of the staff make the rest of it look so bad and it's a true shame because stepping stone is a really great program and is a benefit to many people, including me!  But I'm trying to weigh the benefits of this because like I said certain staff are making it all look bad.  Like my case manager at stepping stone's doesn't even want to be there and she's one of the main instigators there.   But I know that this isn't a reflection of all the staff, but once again it's making them all look bad and it's making the program as a whole look bad, an I know there's people there, that trying to do good and help people, anyway enough for now..... later on :(