In The Beginning...

This was going to start off as a rant, but I thought I would talk about something a little more pleasant.  An this post, will be how I started off in IT, I had started off having a Atari 2600; thanks to my mom and that was the genesis of it all.  Then I happened to come across other peoples computers, like commodore 64 and Atari 800, then I ran the Apple mac like OS2 and then onto FreeBSD; an also Solaris,  That was my first introduction to Unix and Unix like environments, then I found out about this new project called GNU/Linux and with the help of a good friend I caught on quickly.  Now I hover around Solaris, pc-bsd and Linux mint; an haven't looked back and I'm doing all this to make a difference for humanity and granted yes the money is nice.  But I do this to give people freedom of choice and that yes they do have a choice, free as in speech and free as in beer; because it's a community effort.  That's the start of my IT passion, tata...

The bumpy roads...

This being the Christmas holidays, a lot of people can and will get depressed this holiday season.  But if you're at a bad spot please remember things do get better and if need be; get professional help and also remember you're not alone this holiday season.  Go there for further details --->  http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ 

The bumpy roads...

Well it's been a bumpy road for me as of late, but things have been getting better for us.  Mostly because of lack of money and this cast on my leg. but like I said things are getting better; on a good note I've got a few jobs coming up and I only got one more week of this cast being on my leg.  But I've seen my therapist today which was a good thing and we had a interesting talk today about how rough life can be.  But I'm also very aware of how blessing can just come out of no where and more importantly the little blessing in our lives; if we just pay attention.  An something else I'm grateful for is the many great people in my life and how they actually care about me, an want to see me do good.  An something else that's been on my mind is, we're going to run into people that will work our everlasting nerves; but we need to keep in mind is, our mental health these days is so vitally important and for a few it seems to be slipping away.  An with me having a dual diagnosis of PTSD and recovering drug addict, it's hard sometimes to balance things.  Because I had my ha-ha and my ah-ha moments around the same time.  When I was a hardcore drug addict, how I had been handling my illness had been wrong and the ha-ha part was, I realized that laughter is one of the best medications  But the details for that is for a later time, enjoy folks and peace...

Interesting times (slight return)

A lot has happened since I updated my blog, it's been a mix of both good and bad.  But thing's have improved a lot in a relatively short period of time and I know that I had to make some changes in how I was doing things.  An something else that I'm working on is, I'm still trying to earn some extra money or at least do some trading with stuff, an I'm hoping to get that high gear soon.  Because granted it's still depressing and frustrating me, I'm not going to let it get to me like it was.  Because I'd like to get some tech support work and I'd like to get a big job like something that would pay 4000$ up from and 400$ a day, but I know realistically speaking I know that it's not going to happen.  But something that I  had dreamt about was that I woke up an I had 50 million dollars in my PayPal account and I really woke up, then I was like dammit lol.  But anyway I know that it seems like I'm complaining, an I swear I'm not; it's just so discouraging sometimes.  An I can't even get donations to my PayPal account for my tech support blog.  That being said, I'm going to continue doing my own thing and keep on rolling, because I know that it will eventually work out, not sure how or when; but I know that it will work out. 

Grateful for the little things

Some people are so ungrateful and if we think about it we always can find something to be grateful about.  Like me I'm grateful for the ability to read, I know people who don't know how to read, also I don't have clear speech and that's something I always tell people to be grateful for.  Also life can be hard sometimes and we get so discouraged about but we need to take time out of our day, to be thankful for those little things that can build up to great big things.  An the way things go the over stressed and fast past days, that's so vitally important and it's also important for physical and mental health too.  Because some people are so caught up in taking care of other people's needs and we'll being, that they forget to take care of their own well being.  So we need to take time out of our busy days to be grateful for all that we do got and not being ungrateful for what we don't got.  An I can name quite a few other things I'm grateful for to name a few are

1.  The ability to read, write and a great education
2.  Improved health, both physical and mental
3.  My medication
4.  A roof over my head, food in my belly
5.  People who love and or care about me

An that's just to name a few things, because I can name off so much more to be grateful for and we need to realize that and  take time to appreciate those little things that makes life, worth living cheers folks

depressing times

As of late seems like I've been able to catch a break to save my life, which granted I've got a lot to be thankful for; but some tech work would be nice, that didn't require me bring my own computer (since I don't got a working one).  But I got a lot of experience with IT and I know what I'm doing; just can't seem to find more work in it.  An I do it right the first time which that means I usually fix it once and people don't have to worry about it again.   But anyway rant is over on that one, an onto bright subjects.  Since I've been in therapy it's been quite helpful on many fronts and I've managed to evolve quite a bit too.  An something else that's been on my mind is some of my family members and why they don't bother to come see me; an I honestly believe some don't even bother to try.  But that's on them  not me, an I refuse to beg anyone to stay in my life and I'm going to keep doing my own thing; because my heart beats to a different drum.  Also I'm wanting to get back into music, because it was such a great therapy for me and it made me feel so much better.  An please excuse the rambling, I just got a lot on my mind and trying to say it all while it's still fresh on my mind.  An on a bright note, I've been with Rachel for four years now, an everyday has been a blessing to me; with her in my life.  But my life always wasn't always this good, I've had more then my share struggles and heartache.  But it's made me who I am today, which is a much wiser and stronger person.  But I've got what's called a dual diagnoses, drug addiction and mental illness, I was addicted to narcotic pills and I've got PTSD.  Both come with there own unique sets of problems.  But I'll get into those later on, when I am able to talk about them in a way that everyone can understand; because I don't want no confusion on what my problems are and I'm not looking for pity either.  Because I am trying to help people get to where they're a better place, which I got very little help up until a few years ago and I've been in the mental, health system since I was 20 and I am 39 now.  But something I would like to say things do get better may take awhile and take some practice, but things do get better.

p.s. here it's my fiance blog:  http://rachelshaffer1984.blogspot.com/ 

The power we hold

There's times in our lives and we feel like giving up or nobody cares, but that's not always the case.  There's people who truly care, but usually it doesn't come across like that and it's not that they don't care; some people are just a believer in tough love.  Because people that are going through the most are usually the most powerful, the reason being is that they keep going when things are at there worst for them.  An people notice that power and people are drawn to that, because some people are looking for people like you in their lives; because you're so needed.  Life can and will be hard sometimes, but we're so able to stand and deliver.  So don't let other people's bad behavior define you and also remember that their approval isn't needed.  Keep your chin up and keep on rolling baby.

Jokes to tell...

I'd like to know more jokes I'll start this one off
Father walks into his sons room, father goes don't masterbate you'll go blind, son goes I'm over here dad...

Confucius says man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky finger.  

Bring it in folks don't be shy.